A Royal Piggy is Born
Once upon a time, there was a rich and famous couple of guinea pigs named Earl Eatsalotta and Baroness Von Lettuce. Rumor had it that the Baroness was related to British Royalty and the Court of The Royal Pigs.
They lived in a palace that was so big they often didn't see each other for days. Although they loved each other very much, they always slept in separate bedrooms because there were so many to choose from that they often got lost.
One day, a miracle happened. Baroness Von Lettuce gave birth to a baby piggy!
Naming The Baby
The Palace was located in Pigland and it's a place where babies were always named after both parents. Therefore, their daughter should have been named Lady Eatsalotta-Lettuce.
One of the palace employees said she didn't think that was a good idea because other piggies might laugh at her. Worse still, they might bully her and beat her up on the palace playground.
Everyone agreed they would have to choose a more appropriate name.
Prince Poopsalot
Prince Poopsalot was Earl Eatsalotta's father and his family had been famous for generations. They had all been born in Pigerly Hills, Pigland, California.
Pigerly Hills is a small town, but most rich and famous pigs live there. Many non-wealthy pigs move there in hopes of becoming rich and famous themselves.
While waiting for some movie mogul pig to discover them, most poor piggies have to clean and serve hay all day long. They often work as much as nine days a week. That's because piggy days are always much longer than human days.
So back to Prince Poopsalot...
He said his granddaughter should be named after his favorite ale. He added that it would be appropriate because she was the spitting image of a glass of Boddington's beer with her tan brown body and fluffy white head.
The family all agreed that Boddington was a good royal-sounding name fit for a Lady. And so, the baby became Lady Boddington.
The Downside of Fame
As Lady Boddington got older, she didn't like being recognized everywhere she went, and neither did she want to be mistaken for a glass of beer - even though Boodington's was her family's favorite beer by far.
Her tan body and very blonde hair always stood out in a crowd of plain pigs, so she often dyed it, and occasionally she dyed it multiple colors!
Below is a photo of Lady Boddington with multi-colored hair. That's the day she won the Prettiest Pig Hair Contest.
Spoiled Rotten
Lady Boddington was spoiled rotten from the day she was born. She grew up in a crystal palace and had the best of everything. She had a grand wooden castle inside the palace grounds. It was complete with an entire pantry just for hay.
Mountain hay was Lady Boddington's favorite, followed by meadow, then orchard. Timothy Hay wasn't allowed in the palace because the staff was allergic to it.
Lady Boddington's parents didn't want her to do anything except have fun, so they hired a complete staff to care for her. She had a Nanny, a Private Chef, a Kitchen Maid, a Housekeeper, and a poop removal service to clean up after her and her visitors.
The only thing Lady Boddington ever did for herself, was wash her own face!
The palace floors were lined wall-to-wall with super-soft fleece so Lady Boddington would never hurt her tiny, pretty feet.
The Grand Castle
The castle was her favorite hang-out. It's where she preferred to eat, sleep, and do what guinea pigs do most... poop!
Lady Boddington's friends were all commoners, and they thought their Royal friend's name was rather snobby, so they nicknamed her Lady Bod.
Hay, Hay, No Peeky!
Lady Bod and her friends invented a game called Hay-Hay-No-Peeky. It was a game similar to hide-and-seek, except the piggies had to cover themselves in as much hay as possible and hope no one could find them. They loved throwing the hay here, there, and everywhere.
No one cared about the mess because they knew the palace staff would quickly clean it up and put everything back in order.
Lady Bod wasn't a snob or lazy, and nor was she a bratty pig. She didn't do her own housework because she wasn't allowed to. The Palace rules very strict and had to be obeyed at all times.
The first rule stated that Lady Boddington must never do housework. Baroness Von Lettuce made that rule because she didn't want her only daughter to damage her pretty, pink, soft paws. No one dared to go against the Baroness.
One day, someone dared to challenge Mrs. Von Lettuce and they were sent to bed without any supper. After that, everyone obeyed ALL the palace rules because no piggy would want to go without hay and fresh veggies till breakfast the following morning.
Lady Boddington was a beautiful, sweet guinea pig. Everyone who met her loved her. She lived a wonderful charmed life and often donated gazillions of Hayso's (guinea pig dollars) to the local piggy orphanage. Even though she was very spoiled, she was kind and caring and always made time to have fun with her friends.
Some Sad News...
Sadly, at the ripe old age of seven, Lady Boddington passed away in her sleep in her beloved castle inside the palace grounds. Her parents, Earl Eatsalotta and Baroness Von Lettuce had died a few years before her.
Everyone in Pigerly Hills attended Lady Bod's funeral. There was free Mountain hay, fresh veggies, and bottled spring water for everyone who came to pay their respects.
Coming Next Week:
Meet Lady Boddington's only surviving relatives - Bossy-Flossy and Squidgely Wigglebottom.